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Many people come to a time in their lives when they feel the need to seek outside
For some it's a specific difficulty with work or family relationships, for others
a feeling
being out of control of their lives or feeling stuck and unable to move
gives you the opportunity to talk through your difficulties with
someone who isn't involved in the same way that friends and family are.
A counsellor will support you in gaining a deeper understanding of your situation,
and can help you make changes.

Some of the issues that bring people to counselling are:

  low self confidence or esteem *
stress and anxiety
relationship and sexual problems
work or family relationships
inability to make a decision
sexuality issues
separation and divorce *
bereavement *

* please scroll down this page if you would like to read more ...

Low self confidence and low self esteem can affect just about everything in
: relationships, job prospects, and your overall enjoyment of life itself.

Self confidence is an inner self-belief, an attitude of people who trust their own
, and who do not depend on the approval of others in order to feel good
about themselves.

Many people find they are more or less confident in different areas of their lives.
Some are extremely confident, competent and respected at work, but feel
powerless to form a good emotional relationship at home.
Others enjoy high
esteem and confidence in their personal relationships, but when it comes to their
jobs, they don't expect to be successful. Good self esteem - your self worth and
value - increases your confidence.

Separation and divorce -- some relationships end suddenly, some erode over
time. Whatever the circumstances, breaking up is a bleak time for all involved.
For most people, it's a shock when a relationship breaks down. Even once it's
over it can take months for reality to sink in, and during this time it's not
uncommon for people to fantasise about getting back together and/or to be full
of recriminations.

Many people get locked into looking for blame -- whose fault is it? What did I do
wrong? How could they do that to me? This is very understandable, but a more
constructive approach is to focus on what went wrong in the relationship.

After a relationship breakdown, many people find themselves struggling with
feelings of low self esteem and low self confidence. It can be easy to forget to
give yourself time for your own feelings. Time with supportive friends can help,
creating time and space to grieve, relaxation time, and treating yourself when
times are tough. It is important to be kind and gentle to yourself, and accept all
the support you're offered from friends and family.Talking to someone else
outside the situation can be of enormous benefit, and can help with the
important question of why your relationship failed.

Gaining this understanding is the first step towards recovery. Counselling can
also help you deal with the emotions associated with splitting up: anger,
sadness, depression, guilt, depair, fear and confusion.

Extremely important questions for many people are how to tell the children,
and how best to help the children. The needs of the children are partly dictated
by their ages. Younger children's concept of time means that it's not usually
helpful to tell them what is happening in a month or so's time, as a day can
seem like an age.

Although it can seem daunting, starting again after a relationship breakdown
can also be an opportunity to make a fresh start and try new things. It may be
the first time in years that you have been able to put your needs first.

Grieving takes place after any sort of loss, but most powerfully after the death
anyone close.
A whole range of feelings and emotions can be experienced including shock,
disbelief, numbness, anger, depression, guilt, yearning and confusion.
Grieving takes time and no two people grieve in the same way. It is important
to recognise the individual differences and experiences. Some people will
say their divorce was more painful to them than the death of their parent.
Others say they daren't speak out about the extremely painful feelings
following the death of a pet.

Loss of a partner ....
Most recover from a major bereavement within one to two years. As time
passes the pain of bereavement begins to fade. Sometimes talking to
someone other than friends or family can help this process. Some people
value time and space to be able to talk about their loss of a loved one. Others
need help in order to get to a stage of being able to look forward and think
about the future.

  please scroll down this page if you would like more information ....



For more information, have a look at the following sites...

To find Self Help groups in the Nottingham area

MIND ~ information and advice
... useful articles on various topics ... e.g. how to assert yourself, or
how to deal with anger.

Royal College of Psychiatrists ~ for expert advice
... on a range of topics including post-traumatic stress disorder.

Family Mediation services here 

- to find a Family Law solicitor in your area.

Citizen's Advice on a wide range of topics, eg on ending a marriage.
Links to other websites as regards breaking up, here.

The Family Lives
website. This is a national charity that works for, and
with parents, to help them to do the best they can for their children.

... for advice and information on bereavement, together with
counselling and support.

The Health Shop in Nottingham, for advice and information about
Drugs and Health, plus counselling and support,
(for details of their
phone number and address).

DH Counselling - Counselling and Psycho-sexual therapy in Nottingham

44 Redcliffe Road, Mapperley Park, Nottingham, NG3 5BW.

  Barbara Dunleavy  2018